I've spent the past two days trying to find something interesting to write about, but nothing has really stuck out with me. I've skipped having lunch with friends because I wanted to take the time to reflect on just life in general. The only conclusion I came to was the fact that I hadn't been doing enough for Lent and that I desperately need a break.
Originally I wanted to fast on the weekends for Lent but the second I passed the idea by my mom it was turned down. I figured that would happen so I narrowed it down to just Fridays but she still didn't even budge a little bit. She made me settle for just giving up soft drinks. I was content with that for a week but then I realized that in reality I don't really drink sodas anyway and I knew it wasn't enough. I tried doing the no coffee thing but that still wasn't enough. Now I decided to go completely against what my mom wants me to do and do the no fast food thing. I usually pick something up after school so that I have time to eat before going to work, but I feel like I need to give something real up for the remaining of Lent so I guess that's what I'm going with.
This morning I was listening to the Kidd Kraddick in the Morning Show and they were doing a bit on 'What Three Things You Would Change About Yourself''. Kellie was talking about how much she envies women who are big and can still 'strut their stuff' and be happy with who they are. I realized that I envy those women too. At some point in the past few days I decided that I want to start working out again but I don't really have time considering that I already get up at 7 and don't get back home until at least 10 and then all I have time for is homework and stuff. This is why I decided that all next week I'm going to go on those long bike rides I love. I'm hoping that I can get some of my working out out of hte way and then in someway feel better about myself. I think I've been feeling this desperation for something more because I need to raise my self worth and need some good conversations.
People at school don't seem to enjoy serious conversations. I think that's why I rather talk to older adults reather than my best friends. I rather talk about life, God, and how awesome it is to be in the middle of nowhere enjoying yourself than gossip or talk about a party and other stupid teenage drama. My sister tells me I'm an old lady stuck in a teenage body but I say I'd rather be that and be happy than pretend to be someone I'm not. Lately I've been putting on a great show to make people around me happy, but I on the other hand am not very happy.
I'm going to take Spring Break to find my happiness again. I have to get myself back on track.
Anyone up for 'happiness finding' with me? :)
I turn 18 in less than a month! And unlike the past several years, my birthday does not fall on Holy Week this year! I'm sorry Jesus but I'm incredibly happy to be able to celebrate my 18th birthday. Hahaha Two years ago I was told that since my birthday fell on Easter we weren't going to sing happy birthday on my birthday but the day after instead. That was no fun.
Anyway, I'm praying for something good to write about. Something that's worth your time because I know I've started to turn this blog into something more like a diary. I don't like writing diary blogs. :)
Something good will come soon. Promise.