Tonight I went to this Fra Angelico's Coffee Haus thing without really knowing what to expect. I'm glad I went, it was so relaxing to just be able to sit and reflect. It's funny because I went there so I could journal a little bit on my laptop, so I could write out all the mindless self-indulgent things that I don't write on here. As I was finishing a paragraph and coming back to reality I heard, "I'd give anything/to have you near to me/ I will fight for you without rest/ I will fight for you without rest". This is funny because I've been feeling kind of down lately and I was writing about how badly I hope that God listens to my prayers and whatnot. For some reason, I don't think that Jessica was playing that song by chance, and I thank God for letting me know that he's always here. (And thanks to Jessica too for sharing her music with the world!)
I haven't updated the blog for a while but there are reasons for that. It started off with me getting my wisdom teeth pulled, and then slowly transferred to life being a complete mess with work, school, preparations, and just life I guess.
Life. It's funny how things can change so quickly isn't it? It can feel really troublesome at times, but I'm liking the way life's finally starting to come together. It's taken it's sweet time, but I'm starting to figure things out.
Although I do have to say that no matter how hard you prepare for things, something is always going to change. Life can be planned out to the very millisecond and then all of a sudden something random happens and it's all over with. A very special someone leaves on Monday and I won't get to see him again until probably July. Even then, he will only be home for a few days before getting stationed somewhere. Let's hope it's Ft. Hood.
I find it interesting that a month ago I was praying for an answer as to what to do about this boy and wether or not I should fight for our 'friendship', and as soon as I decide to follow my heart and not my mind (a choice that is potentially detrimental for women) he tells me he switched from Army to Marines and is leaving in three weeks. I wish I could trick myself into believing that we are mean't to be, but I can't. Looking back I see all the signs that told me he wasn't the right one, God was hinting and I was oblivious. God has flat out layed it out for me now; it's going to hurt, but I think I will be okay and I will grow from it as I usually do. The right one's out there somewhere. :)
"But even if we speak like this, dear friends, we feel sure about you. We know that you have the better blessings that belong to your salvation. God is not unfair. He will not forget the work you did or the love you showed for him in the help you gave and are still fiving to other Christians. Our great desire is that each of you keep up your eagerness to the end, so that the things you hope for will come true. We do not want you to be lazy, but to be like those who believe and are patient, and so receive what God has promised." Hebrews 6:9-12
I know that God is listening to you, me and all the others. God is fighting for us.