"Listen to the words that others can't speak; speak the words that others can't hear."

Monday, March 9, 2015

Dear Baby Robert,

I will try to keep this short... It has been 16 days since the day we met you and were taken from us too quickly... but who's counting, right? I'm just writing to let you know how much I love and miss you. Nine months ago your mommy came to Plano to let us know that you were coming... That day you became our little glimmer of hope. You were our bundle of joy. You were going to put this torn family back together again.

Baby Robert in our weakness you have made us stronger. Your Mommy is facing challenges she never imagined she'd have to face. I hope that from above you take your little hands and wrap them tight around her heart and let her feel your love. I hope you do that with each of us because we need it. We need it now more than ever.

I keep thinking about all the things I planned to do with you. I was so excited to be Crazy Aunt Bella who said 'yes' when Mommy and Daddy said no. I was going to introduce you to the world and all the wonders it has to offer. I thought about teaching you how to swim and how to play sports even if I'm no good at them. I thought about having you as my ring bearer at my wedding (which is nowhere in sight) and I thought about holding you, letting you feel how much love I have for you in my heart. Thinking of you filled a void in my chest that nothing else has been able to fill and now that you're gone that's all I feel. I feel empty, needy. I look at your pictures every day because I don't want to forget you. Deep down I know I never could forget you, but I want you to know that there will never be anyone like you, baby boy. Nothing could ever replace you.    

I think about the day we met you, when you were placed in my arms and I was rubbing your back just praying that somehow, someway you would come back to us. I think about your little hands and feet and those precious little lips. I think about how grateful I am that as the nurse took you away she stopped and let us kiss you and tell you how much we love you. You had so much to offer this world. We didn't get to have you for very long, but every second we got to spend with you felt like a lifetime. You knew nothing of the evils of this world and for that I am thankful. You are our little angel baby, and that's the way you'll always be. Our hearts are heavy now that you're gone. We miss you. We love you. 

Goodnight, my Angel. 


Your Crazy Aunt Bella

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