A Not So Invasive Invasion.

     At around midnight on April 17, 1961 the United States finally made its way into the Bay of Pigs on the southern coast of Cuba. At the time, the thought of defeat would not have even crossed anyone’s mind, but looking back on the attempt to overthrow a government as powerful and stubborn as the Communism led by Fidel Castro in Cuba, it was a recipe for disaster. Hypothetically speaking, the Bay of Pigs Invasion should have been a success, in reality, the lack of information obtained by the United States, as well as the placement of the presidential elections quickly led the Invasion on a winding spiral. 

  Above anything else, the changing of President Dwight D. Eisenhower and John F. Kennedy, put the country in a position where they simply were not ready to overthrow an entire government. One year and one month before the invasion was to take place, President Eisenhower sanctioned a document developed by the 5412 Committee, better known as the ‘Special Group’, that organized a plan to overthrow the Castro regime. The plan stated that it would substitute the Castro administration with another more devoted to the actual concerns of the Cuban people and a government more acceptable to the United States in order to avoid the need of future United States’ intervention. Essentially, in order to accomplish such government, the small army needed to generate, assist, and possibly even take direct action, both inside and outside of Cuba; selected groups of Cubans would be trained so that they could be expected to and would take their own initiative, if need be (Glennon and Rhonda). Although once the details of the plan were brought about, it was rejected by the State Department, the Central Intelligence Agency quickly proposed an alternative. Because of the elections, President John F. Kennedy was in charge of approving or disproving the alternate idea. On April 4, 1961 Kennedy approved Operation Zapata, the invasion plan that was thought to have a better course of action since it reduced the number of planes therefore making U.S. involvement less conspicuous. 

  When the plan to overthrow the Communist government first came about everyone involved agreed to deny any involvement or knowledge of the invasion. By the second meeting, when it came time to presenting the supposed ideas to Eisenhower, the group included vice-president “ [Richard] Nixon, Acting Secretary of State Douglas Dillon, the secretaries of Treasury and Defense, Acting Chairman of the JCS Gen. Lyman Lemnitzer, and, for the CIA, [Allen] Dulles and [Richard] Bissell.” During this meeting “Eisenhower approved a budget of some $13 million for the operation ‘as well as the use of Department of Defense personnel and equipment. However, it was specified at the time that no United States military personnel were to be used in a combat status” (Gleijeses 10). With that much governmental support, the Bay of Pigs Invasion had a fighting chance, Eisenhower was all for the invasion and all plans were set; when Kennedy came into the picture, everything seemed to be different. The interviews conducted by Gleijeses showed that Kennedy had more of an undercover approach to the invasion than Eisenhower, “the approved program authorized [them] to support elements in Cuba opposed to the Castro government while making Castro’s downfall to be the result of his own mistakes” (15).   After the Eisenhower’s plans were finalized, the 300 guerrillas trained and the plan was ready for action, Eisenhower seemed to have a successful stratagem, Gleijeses makes it clear that it wasn’t until President-elect John F. Kennedy took office that the invasion turned into a desperate shot in the dark.

  Expecting the people of Cuba to rise against their leader, the United States’ CIA trained a small army of Cuban exiles that reached no more than 1,500 ground forces, that were up against a strong 25,000 trained soldiers, 200,000 militia, and 9,000 armed police (JFK Waits). Since the plan was that the people of Cuba would come together to help defeat their communist leader, Kennedy did not allow for any other back up or air strikes. The article states that “ Kennedy and the CIA leaders in charge of the mission believed that Cuba’s people and its military would spontaneously rise up to help the  exile army overthrow Castro” (JFK Waits). The aforementioned is one of the main reasons the Invasion was unsuccessful, but a well-known fact even more important than that was that “JFK’s decision to cancel air support strike was the main reason for failure” (Rasenberger 480). Although Kennedy’s decision to hold back on military support was well-known, when being put between a sword and a hard place, many believed that the newly elected president would budge. According to Karl Ernest Meyer in The Cuban Invasion, it is unclear whether President Kennedy or CIA Chief Allen Dulles had been alerted that the invasion’s goals were practically unachieveable without U.S. involvement. Partly because of the United State’s non-involvement as well as the unsuccessful uprising of the Cuban people, over one thousand of the exiles were captured and held prisoner (Johnson 9). After more than one year of being captive, all 1,113 of the Cuban exiles were released in exchange for $53 million worth of food and medical supplies raised by private donations throughout the United States (Johnson 10). Although under President Eisenhower’s command the United States at least seemed to have a better chance at overcoming Communism in Cuba, both showed maturity and responsibility in the matter. As stated by Rebecca Friedman in Presidential Studies Quarterly,  “foreign policy decision making is an inherently difficult challenge” (307). Friedman discusses six variables that can be used to determine the success or failure of foreign policy decision making during presidential transitions: national security decision-making structure, availability of information relevant to the substance and history of the crisis and its policy responses, focus of time and resources, relevant campaign commitments, ‘newness’ of the incoming administration, and ‘inheritedness’ of the policy (Friedman 309). Personally, it is a waste of time to attempt to find a blame for the failure of the attempted government overthrow; instead of looking for a fault, the people of both nations should realize that “from this sobering episode [there are] useful lessons for us all to learn... it is clear that the forces of communism are not to be underestimated”  (Explaining the.. 8). Years have been wasted looking for someone to blame when in reality everyone involved is to blame; the presidential switch amidst all the planning and preparations made for a difficult situation and an unsuccessful invasion. 

  Just as important as presidential elections, was the lack of information. Fidel Castro has always been a secretive person, making the world think he can handle the people of an entire country completely on his own. When the CIA began approaching the Cuban exiles and preparing for the invasion, no one really knew exactly what was happening throughout the island. Throughout Gleijeses’ article, “Ships in the Night: The CIA, the White House and the Bay of Pigs”, he states that over the span of interviews, he became “more skeptical of the explanations of the Bay of Pigs that stress the... lack of information about reality in Cuba” (15). Perhaps if the CIA would have collected more information both from the exiles as well as insiders about what exactly was happening in Cuba, the information provided would have helped them devise a plan that was more likely to succeed. Less than twenty-four hours after the ‘battle’, Castro broadcasted a short message on the situation in Cuba, on the morning of April 20, 1961 Castro boasts over the quick victory of Cuba on the United States. It stated that victory was claimed in “less than seventy-two hours” and spoke about a significant defeat of the “United States imperialism”; it asserted that “this be a lesson to the United States to leave [Castro] alone in the future”. This broadcast shows weakness in the United States army not to mention lack of presidential support. Losing the invasion was bad enough, but the shame that followed in addition to the way the United States was portrayed to other countries was perhaps just as bad or worse than the losing itself. 

  According to Victor A. Triay, the three day battle caused 176 Cuban casualties and 4,000 wounded while 118 Americans were killed and 1,202 captured, an astonishing number when considering the size of the armies respectively. The short lived war left a footprint not just in Cuba or the United States, but throughout the entire world also; no one is to with Castro.  Even fifty years after the attempted invasion took place, communism persists in Cuba, and it wasn’t until three years ago that Fidel Castro stepped down and allowed his younger brother to take over. If the presidential elections would have taken place even just months later, then it is conceivable to believe that Cuba may not be a communist country in this day and age, but with the placement of the election falling precisely in the middle of approving, denying, planning and preparing, I believe that the changing of presidents threw everyone involved a curveball that left them no time to change anything around. 

 Works Cited

Explaining the Bay of Pigs Invasion April 20, 1961. Collin College Library. USA Today, 27 Sept. 2010. Web. 26 Mar. 2011. <http://web.ebscohost.com.library.collin.edu/ehost/detail?vid=3>.

Friedman, Rebecca. Crisis Management at the Dead Center: The 1960-1961 Presidential Transition and the Bay of Pigs Fiasco. 2nd ed. Vol. 41. Blackwell. 307-33. Print.

Gleijeses, Piero. "Ships in the Night: The CIA, the White House and the Bay of Pigs." Journal of Latin American Studies 27.1 (1995). Collin College Library. Web. 23 Mar. 2011. <http://www.jstor.org.library.collin.edu/stable/158201?seq=10>.

Glennon, John P. ., and Ronald D. . Landa. "481. Paper Prepared by the 5412 Committee." Foreign Relations of the United States, 1958-1960. Vol. VI. Washington (D.C.): Government Printing Office, 1991. Print.

"JFK Waits for Word on the Bay of Pigs Invasion — History.com This Day in History — 4/17/1961." History.com — History Made Every Day — American & World History. Web. 3 Apr. 2011. <http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/jfk-waits-for-word-on-the-bay-of-pigs-invasion>.

Johnson, Haynes B. The Bay of Pigs; the Leaders' Story of Brigade 2506,. New York: Norton, 1964. Print.

Meyer, Karl Ernest., and Tad Szulc. The Cuban Invasion; the Chronicle of a Disaster,. New York: Praeger, 1962. Print.

Rasenberger, Jim. The Brilliant Disaster: JFK, Castro, and America's Doomed Invasion on Cuba' S Bay of Pigs. Scribner. Academic Complete. Web. 27 Mar. 2011.

Triay, Victor Andres. Bay of Pigs: an Oral History of Brigade 2506. Gainesville: University of Florida, 2001. Print.

Just something Stephanie and I discussed...

I remember when my teacher walked in crying, telling us of that a terrible tragedy had just occurred. She told us that she wasn't allowed to talk to us about it, but that it was extremely important that we get home safely to be with our families, and that we weren't to open the letter she was passing out until we were with our parents. We were dismissed. 

Being curious fourth grade girls, my friends and I opened our letters on the bus ride home. Soon after finding out about the attack, we regretted our infantile decision and were scared to walk from the bus stop home. 

Over the coming days, weeks and eventually years the pictures came and went. Eventually, the War on Terrorism became a surreal annoyance. We knew it was happening but really only paid attention when a friend or family member left or came back from overseas or when a young soldier made headlines. 

Now, nearly ten years later the Mastermind behind this entire scheme is said to be dead. I always felt like it would never happen, not in my lifetime at least. Sure, looking back on it, that thought is ridiculously dumb considering Osama bin Laden's age, but I don't know, it was unexpected to say the least. 

My initial reaction was sheer relief; a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I thought I wouldn't have to worry about anyone else getting hurt or dying overseas, but then I realized how flawed that was. As more and more videos came out last night of Americans celebrating the death of a man, I began to feel sick. An empty feeling came over me and I realized how wrong this was. He was a human being! Who are we to judge what he felt as he took his last breath? 

Bin Laden was a political and religious leader to many. Whether we agree with them or not, many, many people looked up to this man the same way we look up to God's son, Jesus Christ. Sure, this is a crazy comparison to us, but to those who didn't know better and believed Osama was their savior, this comparison may not do them justice. 

Jesus was crucified because he stood up for what He believed to be correct. It's different in this case because Osama took many lives and destroyed thousands of others, but if you look at the big picture, our Savior was killed because others didn't agree with him: we killed Osama because we don't agree with him. Don't pick at the flaws in that comparison, take it for what it is. 

Either way you look at it, it is never okay to rejoice over the death of another person. Rejoice in our great military, in the fact that others won't be dying in Osama's name, and that perhaps some families can find a certain peace, closure even, in his death, but do not rejoice.

He may have been an awful man, but he was a man after all. 

Lord, only You know what this man was feeling; only you know his thoughts and the reasoning behind his actions, his intentions. Tonight, dear Lord, I pray that this man's soul can realize his wrongs. I pray for those who have been suffering for years, for all those involved in 9/11 and for all the men and women who have fought or are currently fighting for this country. May those who need healing and peace find You and in turn find what they have been missing. Amen.

‎"DO NOT gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice / or the Lord will see and disapprove and turn his wrath away from him." Proverbs24:17-18

The things I hoped I never would.

It's sick these thoughts that haunt me.
Day and night, night and day
In every way  I can't escape them.

And I fear the explanation,
And I fear this sensation
And I can't bring myself to believe
This is real.

This is real.

It's sick these thoughts that haunt me.
I wish I could escape them.
The things I hoped I never would,
And the things I know I should
I only hope I can't escape them.

This I know is real.

It's real what I saw,
Every time I saw it.
It's real what I felt and did,
Every time I did it.

It's sick these thoughts that haunt me.
And I wish I hadn't
And I wish I had
And I wish I could believe in wishes.

I can't do this any longer.
If it's love, it's love.
If it's not then break it.
If you don't know then you better--

Because this I know is real--

We can't do this for much longer.

And this I know is real.

God sent me angels.

I'm really not in the mood to be writing for several reasons, but what happened tonight needs to be shared.

After a horrible fight with my parents, specifically my mother, I couldn't take being at home anymore and decided to leave. Leaving is harder now than it was a week ago because I wrecked my car, so I have to rely on carpooling, the parents car or my own two feet. Apparently I was more desperate than I was tired because I decided that walking would be my best option.

I walked to the Starbucks near my house, got a coffee and began to walk. I wasn't sure where I was going, just knew I wasn't going home. After walking about a block in the direction towards the church I started thinking about going there. I asked myself if I could make it home after walking all the way there in the dark. I asked if it was worth the risk of walking alone at night, and finally I began to sing to myself as I cried.

I wanted to hate Him and throw all the anger that I felt towards my parents at Him, but all I could think was "my God is an awesome God He reigns, in Heaven above with wisdom, power and love my God is an awesome God." And I hated that I couldn't get that song out of my head.

As I got closer to the Spring Creek and Independence intersection it began to truly get dark outside and I started to get honks from passersby. I took my phone and texted the only person that I can say I trust with anything. I told her where I was going, what had happened and asked her if we could talk.

I have done a lot of walking this weekend, and I don't know if anyone else has experienced the blisters that flip-flops leave when you walk in them for a while, but by the time I got to the crematorium at SEAS it felt like I had no skin on my feet whatsoever. I sat in my favorite spot and cried as I told the person on the phone what I was afraid of and what I was feeling at the time.

I sent two texts to her. The first started with "I'd rather die than...", and as I spilled my feelings and cried more I sent the second text that stated: "That is not a suicide threat."

Literally seconds after that text was sent God answered the prayers that my heart was feeling but my brain refused to let out. One of the most Holy women I've met, Cindy J., walked into the crematorium. We shared some kind words about the weekend and how peaceful the crematorium is. The conversation was one that I could have had with any other stranger that happened to have been there tonight, but this encounter had a purpose.

Before leaving, Cindy shared a story about two of her past students. She said that one day she caught them fighting and saying that they hated each other. She told me that she knew that somehow the two boys must have had some amount of love for each other because to hate someone you have to love them first, otherwise it's just indifference.

This woman had no idea that I was feeling the pain I was feeling, but her words were the comfort that I needed to get up and come home. Before that five minute conversation I had planned on staying with a friend or getting a room for the night, but her words gave me the courage to walk back and at least sleep in my own room.

I can't say that I'm happy because I'm honestly not. I can't say that I love my parents because the hurt and anger that I carry with me now is anything but love. The only thing that I know for a fact at this very moment is that the Big Guy up there is looking out for me. He put that song in my head to remind me that He was with me amidst the hate, anger, and desperation. He was letting me know that He was fighting for me even as everything was pushing Him away.

After tonight I'm at a loss for words, we are so quick to change teams when things start going wrong, when instead we should be gearing up to fight NEXT to Our Lord, not against Him.

Thanks G, that's really some good looking out.

I smiled like I never have before.

     Have you ever had a falling dream? Not the kind where you fall and hit something, instead the kind where you fall, and you fall.... and you fall. The kind where you get so tired of falling that you wish to wake up in a panic because falling just isn't fun anymore. That is the same kind of plummet I recently had in my life and, worse, in my faith. 
    For those of you that have never had a dream like that, close your eyes and imagine your body and soul seperating from each other. Your body moves on and keeps doing the daily tasks while your soul sits and waits for something to happen. You get tired, so tired. Still, you keep on moving. You keep on doing what you know is right and you hope that something finally does happen.

Something happened.

     To be quite honest I prayed my little heart out when I first started to feel myself losing control. I prayed and I prayed and I prayed, but it seemed like the more I prayed, the further I would fall. Once I realized prayer wasn't helping me I simply gave up, kept going through the motions but wasn't feeling the emotions. Being who I am, I didn't ask for help. I have plenty of people who love me, care for me and would LOVE to help me, but I am Isabella, I can do it all. 

    

     As it turns out, I'm not as strong as I thought I was and well, I can't do it all. On Wednesday at Bible Study we talked about how sometimes being faithful mean't going through the motions; "Fake it till you make it" or "Faith it til you make it" would be a favorite of others. On the way home I let my guard down and I cried. After I was done crying I prayed, and after I thought I finished praying I did a combination of the two, a task that is a lot easier said than done while driving down a busy street. In the end, I still felt that the glass was only half full. Sure, it was a relief to cry and let me be me in front of my Creator, but I still carried a hole in my chest and I still was falling.

     I'm the type of person that never asks for a hug, afraid that if I get a 'no' I wouldn't know how to react; instead, I give hugs and hope to get a good one in return. I noticed myself giving many hugs after Wednesday night. By the time Saturday came around I was back to praying daily, asking God to help me. Yearning to feel whole again, hoping for a better tomorrow. 

    

     I woke up Sunday morning and said to myself and to Him:

Lord, I cannot live like this any longer. Going through the motions isn't good enough. I will live for you, I can't see you but I know you are there. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit in order to make it through this day and please, please give me a sign. Let me know that you are with me!

     Considering that I was in the shower I didn't exactly expect an angel to come down and tell me to snap out of it, but I didn't expect to feel as bad as I was feeling after I had, what I thought, was a pretty intense and intimate moment.

    The day went on and I found myself laughing more genuinely and not having to force smiles and kind words. I caught myself being me again. It scared me to an extent, but I welcomed it with open arms. Sunday night when I got to church I said a quick prayer for one of my students and I thanked God for a decent day, pleading for many more.

     As it just so happens, God never let's his children down, and halfway through the Mass He gave me the answer I wanted.

   I have no words to describe the feeling I had.

BUT I will give it a try.

     I have a learned habit of always looking up at Jesus on the crucifix when the priest is going through the Liturgy of the Eucharist. When transubstatiation is taking place I believe I was taught to pay attention to the bread, but I've always found it more comforting to look at Jesus himself. Yesterday, I sat there the entire time praying for redemption and wishing for an answer. When I looked up at Jesus on the cross I got chills, chills like I never felt before. I looked away and back again and got chills for a second time. I looked around to see if anyone else felt as weird as I did but no one seemed to notice anything. I looked for a third time and again, I got chills, this time they started at the very top of my head and went down to my toes.

I smiled like I never have before.

     It felt like my smile was coming from the very bottom of my soul. I couldn't control it and I didn't know what to do. I wish I could explain that feeling but honestly I, 'the writer', can't put it in words. It felt like my insides were jumping with joy and I no longer felt empty.

    

      Although I no longer feel empty inside, I know I need to set some time aside for me and the Big Guy up there. At work today a customer saw that I was struggling with a shelf and she said, "Do you need me to help?"

    

      "No thanks, ma'm I got it. My arms are just getting tired, that's all." I replied.

     

     "Alright, just remember, there's nothing wrong with asking for help every once in a while. There's absolutely no shame in that."

     Now there is that possibility that I am looking into this too much, but then there's the chance that I am not. All I can say is that God sure does have a funny and AMAZING way of showing how much he really cares and how he is always here. Always.

This is my public apology.

Many people have said that excersice relieves stress. I've tried that; it doesn't work, not for me. Others have said to vent. Venting is.. venting is great but does not provide the type of satisfying relief I'm dying for. Dying for. I don't know what to do anymore. I turned to friends, friends that are as confused as I am. I turned to journaling, counseling, God. No answers. Empty. Hurt.

I sat in my car today. I just sat for ten minutes. I prayed that things would be normal. I came home to crying, screaming and an unwelcoming and thick air.

I work to forget. I work hard to forget. In fact, I push forty hours a week, full-time. I go to school full-time. I volunteer, go to church, lead at church. I work hard to forget... but I don't.

I wake up sweaty, shaking. Not knowing. Fearful.

I ignore the truth. My friends. My family. My sister. I ignore. And I'm sorry.

Everything keeps telling me to hold on; white-knuckling through life doesn't fix anything but it's a start.

I'm not ready for a relationship when it's hard to keep friends. Not ready.

When will I be ready? When? So many questions. No answers. No. Answers.

I'm confused tonight. Confused more than ever.

This is my public apology. If I've hurt you, ignored you, scared you.. I'm sorry. This isn't me, I don't know who this is but I'm better than this. I'm trying to figure things out. I hope you can forgive me.

Hope.

There's always hope.

"But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you."

Psalm 39:7

Although this blog entry sounds depressing, and in a way it is, I hope it also comes across with a bit of joy. Everyday is bran new and my faith is everlasting. Full of fear I face tomorrow, hoping sorrow's just passing through.

God: The Big, Bad Wolf or One of Us?

     In Rabbi Harold Kushner’s When Bad Things Happen to Good People, the topic of why God, a supposed all-powerful and all-knowing Supreme Being, allows awful situations and mishaps to happen to generally good people while the bad people live what they would call happy and fulfilling lives is examined. I, like most others, pray to God solely when a problem arises and forget to give thanks when my prayers are answered. If I cannot see an almost immediate response to my prayers I begin to wonder why, if I do everything to the best of my abilities, God allows such bad things to occur. After reading Kushner’s reaction and response to adversities faced in his own life, I believe I have begun finding the answers to my questions.



     Kushner introduces his viewpoint by telling the readers about a challenge he overcame at the beginning of his adult life. Rabbi Kushner’s first son, Aaron, was born with a condition called progeria, “rapid aging.” Kushner and his wife watched helplessly as their son fought a fourteen year battle against death itself. Kushner recalls, “If God existed, if He was minimally fair, let alone loving and forgiving, how could He do this to me?” There are times in our lives where we all inevitably feel like this. We see this when our parents and grandparents get sick, when we watch the news and see vulnerable animals abused and neglected by their owners, and the truth is that we cannot help but wonder what reasoning God has behind this pain. If God has the power to create everything in the world, including Earth, why does he not stop the abuse, the hunger, the pain? Kushner addresses this question when he says that “the God [he] believes in does not send us the problem; he gives us the strength to cope with it” (127). This attitude opens the door to thinking that maybe God does not create the problem instead the solution; perhaps the Creator is not finished with His masterpiece, and possibly our everyday troubles are simple eraser marks on an unfinished product.


     The third chapter was perhaps my favorite chapter in the entire book because I too have an admiration for the Book of Job. Although I have read and reread the book several times, each time clearing up the waters just a tiny bit, I am still unclear about what exactly the anonymous author was attempting to say. Like Kushner, I can perceive that maybe “(A): God is [not] all-powerful. Bad things do happen to good people in this world, but it is not God who wills it”. Similar to the rabbi’s beliefs, I can say that I would rather believe in God’s goodness than his being ‘all-powerful’. Having faced family issues with death, diseases and physical separation, I can say that I do not think God is all-powerful, if He were I believe he would give my family the financial comfort to be able to fly back and forth for funerals, graduations, reunions, etc.; seeing that He has not been able to provide that, I chose to believe that He is all-good. Although we face the problem of being physically close, God has provided an emotional attachment like none other. A little later in the chapter Kushner says that there was a sense of comfort in believing in “an all-wise, all-powerful God who guaranteed fair treatment and happy endings” (50)but that after seeing what happened to Job we cannot help but feel angry, and we cannot believe in that God without first “giving up our own right to feel angry, to feel that we have been treated badly by life” (50). Kushner then offers the belief in a God of justice, not power; he backs up this belief by stating that this God, instead of leading us to ask “Why me?” leads us to ask for help. Personally, I have forced myself to believe in a God of justice as an alternative to an all-powerful God. Growing up in a home without money to spare I have come to realize that God does not do harm unto the good, but instead provides help and comfort when harm is done; I believe that the God of justice is perchance one of the greatest points Kushner provides in his book.


     Kushner also provides an excerpt from the Book of Job, chapter 40: 9-14, “Have you an arm like God? Can you thunder with a voice like His? You tread down the wicked where they stand, Bury them in the dust together… Then will I acknowledge that your own right hand can give victory” (49). Paraphrased, this verse basically says, “If you think you can do it better than I, you do it.” I enjoy that Kushner included this particular verse because I have always noticed that we tend to thumb our nose at God for the things that he ‘does’, but when we actually take the time to sit and think about every little action and reaction, every problem and solution, every detail on a baby, a child, an adult, a flower, a tree, essentially every aspect of life we can quickly come to realize there is no way in Heaven, Hell or Purgatory that we could have come up with such a detailed marvelous world.


     Another reason Kushner provides for bad things happening to good people is no reason at all. Kushner says at one point that although random bad luck does happen, something has to cause the random bad luck to happen. Kushner provides evidence that shows that randomness is increasing over time because the world needs to reach equilibrium. Later on in the chapter he says that “on the other hand, our world may not be a system left to itself. There may in fact be…the Spirit of God …operating over the course of the millennia to bring order out of the chaos” (62). He also contradicts that argument by saying that “it may be that God finished His work of creating eons ago, and left the rest to us” (63). As the reader I had a bit of trouble understanding the point in this chapter because Kushner jumped back and forth between contradicting ideas. I believe he did a sufficient job at tying all his ideas together and saying that we can be “sustained and comforted by the knowledge that [various tragedies] are not the will of God, but represent that aspect of reality which stands independent of his will, and which angers and saddens God even as it angers and saddens us” (63). I have come to the conclusion that throughout this chapter Kushner was attempting to say what I stated earlier, that maybe God has not finished his work and every little thing we do is just an invisible stain on an unfinished product.


     Lastly, I thoroughly enjoyed Kushner’s chapter on prayer, “God Can’t Do Everything, But He Can Do Some Important Things.” I have always had a problem with people that say that when someone is facing a difficult time it is senseless to say ‘I will pray for you’ because, according to them, prayer comes from Christ, and He will not fix the problem. In this chapter Kushner states that “the first thing prayer does for us is put us in touch with other people” (131). I believe the statement ‘I will pray for you’ is not meant has a way to say ‘God will fix your problem, instead as a way of one friend saying to another, ‘It’s out of our grasp, but I wish you the best’. Prayer, like Kushner says, is a way of connecting “people who share the same concerns, values, dreams, and pains that we do” (131). All religions seem to have their own different forms of prayer; thus telling someone that you will pray for him does not necessarily have a Christian mindset or a Christian subliminal message. It is a simple way of showing that you care. Kushner also says that prayer “redeems people from isolation” (134). I have always been taught that we are not meant to walk through this world alone, and seeing Kushner’s point of view reassured my belief; it gave me hope that perhaps the rest of world will one day feel the same. Kushner finishes the paragraph by saying that “it lets know that they are a part of a greater reality, with more depth, more hope, more courage, and more future than any individual could have by himself” (134). The hope for a better future shown in this chapter is what I live in my day to day life and it helped me see that I am not alone in my dreams and aspirations.


     Harold Kushner kept me reading for hours on end. His examples and experiences kept me turning the pages with excitement and anticipating what unbelievable story he was going to reveal next. Kushner was able to shed some light on the dark reality we seem to be living through as well as provide different viewpoints to certain aspects of life that one sometimes writes off as headed straight for disaster. Although no one has the answer to why bad things happen to good people, Kushner provides the information needed to give the world hope for a brighter future as well as plenty of food for thought. At one point in my life I thought of God as someone we are supposed to fear, after studying my religion, as well as speaking, reading and learning about other religions I have come to realize that God is not at all a big, bad wolf; instead he is a kind, loving, forgiving and all-knowing glimmer of hope.